im gay
i know
yea but for you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
try to milk me bitch
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