I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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