she kept yelling 'call me bella'
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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