a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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