I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize