Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize