she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize