Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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