Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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