Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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