So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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