I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
