I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
