is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
