Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
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You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger