I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You were trust falling into bushes
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..