wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
only if we run a train.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
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That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
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I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?