Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
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Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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