Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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