i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels