I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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