no, he came in my armpit
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
