i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.