My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy