quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.