I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.