The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dating After Heartbreak
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.