and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize