Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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