this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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