I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
