porn star boner night. come get it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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