I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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