I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
