half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize