go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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