That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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