butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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