I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
