Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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