I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms