Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I would fuck him just for his dog