Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If I die, sorry about rent.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
