Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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