dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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