best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There r osticjed everywhere
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
