I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.