i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn