Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
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My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.