you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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