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Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
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