My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.