somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
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All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
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He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
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TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.