My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone