I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."