My hand turned me down
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Holy sore nipples Batman
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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