Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
