I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
