I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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