All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
