Ambien. No doubt about it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
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I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
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At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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