She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize