I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.