Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?

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  (207): I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend? http://tfl.nu/xxqb
  Replies (49) Good night (1026) Bad night (3003)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.

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  (337): I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way. http://tfl.nu/vl3g
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (1727)
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  (562): View more from California

  trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"

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  (562): trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander" http://tfl.nu/pjq1
  Replies (20) Good night (3486) Bad night (868)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."

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  (804): I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock." http://tfl.nu/9z32
  Replies (20) Good night (4606) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.

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  (847): woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score. http://tfl.nu/p406
  Replies (26) Good night (9334) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm

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  (312): I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm http://tfl.nu/hl7i
  Replies (37) Good night (9304) Bad night (1798)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.

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  (850): You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus. http://tfl.nu/vr5q
  Replies (15) Good night (9940) Bad night (1166)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation

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  (352): Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation http://tfl.nu/era3
  Replies (4) Good night (3149) Bad night (882)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944

  (720): View more from Colorado

  and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate

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  (720): i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944 (720): and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate http://tfl.nu/x2vg
  Replies (15) Good night (5696) Bad night (1274)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?

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  (915): at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes? http://tfl.nu/vnu1
  Replies (3) Good night (2657) Bad night (1526)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"

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  (740): He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work" http://tfl.nu/lj9u
  Replies (6) Good night (3676) Bad night (791)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.

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  (224): They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship. http://tfl.nu/ra28
  Replies (4) Good night (796) Bad night (1269)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just Tebowed the shit out of her.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.

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  (414): I just Tebowed the shit out of her. (336): Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb. http://tfl.nu/wxei
  Replies (10) Good night (2289) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.

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  (509): While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop. http://tfl.nu/o4cj
  Replies (4) Good night (1322) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?

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  (206): She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What? http://tfl.nu/e1z9
  Replies (0) Good night (650) Bad night (442)

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