Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets

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(310): View more from California

Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING

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(301): View more from Maryland

The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.

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(443): View more from Maryland

There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+27): View more from South Africa

My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me

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(434): View more from Virginia

It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

was his pinky out?

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(757): View more from Virginia

Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?

(864): View more from South Carolina

"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."

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