We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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