For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
